I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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