i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
