Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
