my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
