woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
