every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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