Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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