This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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