You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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