Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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