I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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