Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.

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(214): View more from Texas

For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Hey man your outta milk

(541): View more from Oregon

How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!

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(845): View more from New York

the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later

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(334): View more from Alabama

I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.

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(734): View more from Michigan

The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...

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(907): View more from Alaska

Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.

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