Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
