I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
