Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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