After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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