watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
