We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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