are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm at about main and main street
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
