I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
