RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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