This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
