Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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