did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
