Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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