apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
