Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
not ubering you a puppy
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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