I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
