If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
