sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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