You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
