That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
