So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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