How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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