remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I could make wine with my vomit
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
