Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
