winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
