I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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