No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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