Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
