Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
love makes seman taste better
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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