When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
