And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
