I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
