On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
