the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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