well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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