where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
