I will die if light touches me.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
