U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize
